Are you the girl who can’t say no? Margaret Tatcher was well able to say No and No and No again. You’re not like her so here is some good advice from Elizabeth Grace Saunders I spotted over on 99 percent.

“It feels good to be the go-to guy or girl: the one that everyone comes to for solutions to their problems. When people smile at you and tell you, “Thank you so much. I just don’t know what I would do without you,” feelings of importance, value, and worth well up inside of you.”

Yeah, yeah, yeah…

 

Here are some scenarios that might crop up in any normal day… and here’s how to say NO

When you receive perpetual last-minute requests:
I would love to help you out, but I already made commitments to other _________ (coworkers, clients, etc.) to complete their projects today. It wouldn’t be fair to them to not follow through on what I said I would do. I will be sure to fit this in as soon as possible. Thanks for your understanding.

When people ask you about everything instead of directly contacting the appropriate person:
That’s not my area of expertise, but I would be happy to connect you with someone who could best help you solve this problem.

When you’re asked in the hallway or at a meeting for an estimated timeframe for a complex project:
Could you email me the details of that request? Once I receive them, I’ll be able to give you a more definite response on when I can get that done for you.

When you’re given an exceptionally short deadline:
I know this project is a high priority for you, and if it’s absolutely necessary for me to turn something in by that date, I can make it happen. But if I could have a few more _________ (days, weeks, etc.), I could really deliver something of higher quality. Would it be possible for me to have a bit more time?

When someone starts talking about a problem that you could potentially help them with but you don’t have time to handle and is not your responsibility:
Wow. I can really understand how that would be hard. (Then say nothing more—just nod, smile, and release the problem when you walk away.)

When asked to do something optional that you can’t commit to right now:
I appreciate you thinking of me, and I’m honored by the request. But unfortunately, I don’t have the time to give this my best right now. I think you would benefit from finding someone who can devote more time and energy to this project.

When someone asks you to do something that your much-less-busy coworker could do:

I would love to help you out, but given my schedule, I wouldn’t be able to get this back to you for a couple of weeks. If you would like to have this turned around sooner, I recommend that you reach out to __________. Does that sound good?

You know people who do this to you so click here so find out how to throw it back at them.

 

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